background

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Get Busy Living!

A new friend, let's call her Shelley-2 {how weird is it that I have met two totally awesome Shelleys{ies?} <---not sure what the plural is for that, in the past month!?} sent me a link to a site selling t-shirts which basically instruct you to get off your butt, have your breakdown, then your breakthrough and GET BUSY LIVING!!! So I have been trying super hard to make that my new mantra. Sitting around feeling sorry for myself and perusing Google {even if it IS for inspirational stories} does absolutely nothing except steal Joy from today and ultimately, allowing myself to be robbed of Joy won't change a darn thing in the long run, well, except I will be miserable right now, which is just stupid, so I am done with that. :~)

I am bringing this up now because last Thursday was hard for me, darn hard {see there Mom, I watched my language}. My hair started falling out. I knew it was coming, I thought I had prepared myself for it, but I suppose nothing was really going to prepare me for when it ACTUALLY happened. I pretty much shut down for the day, just sat there thinking about how this would be the first thing that would really make me look like a cancer patient and how I would now likely be getting "the look" from everyone everywhere I went. I did a lot of worrying that day. I worried that my head would be shaped funny. I worried that people would now see how far my ears really DO stick out, which is the reason I never wear dangling earrings . I worried that I certainly wouldn't be one of those people who rock the "bald is beautiful" look. It's not like I have amazing hair or anything, but I just can't really see myself as being cute bald {despite what a guy I worked with said in like 1999, why in the world do I remember that?}. I worried that the boys would be afraid of me if I didn't have hair, they are so observant at the tender age of almost 3. I worried that people might be embarrassed to be seen with me or, even worse, that they would just pity me and feel sorry for me and be sad at me, yes AT me, please don't be sad at me. I worried that I would be embarrassed about how I look, because I AM already embarrassed, which I know is weird, but I am, to be going through this at all. So much worrying. Pointless, but necessary I suppose. It didn't help matters that I really had no plan in place for when the hair did come out. Meaning, I had no wig, no scarves, no hats, no wraps, no nothing, just the promise of a bald head. Being caught off guard really did a number on my psyche, that's for sure.

So I rallied and had one of my circle, Stacie, call and make me a wig appointment - AND - she volunteered to go with me for support and fashion/ hair advice! Another member of my circle, Stephanie, also volunteered to come along for the hair show. I guess I should have been more clear with them about what we were going for because I think they both thought they were going to have to endure the trauma of watching me have my head shaved, which did not happen. I am currently holding on to what I have and thinking maybe Independence Day would be a GREAT day to release my hair into the wild. :~) I actually had fun trying on wigs, Linda, the wig lady was amazing and the second wig I tried on was so obviously the right one. It was pretty quick and painless. I found a wig plus a few hats and then we had cupcakes after, so you can't really beat that.

Looks totally natural, right!?
In other GET BUSY LIVING news, Friday night we spent time with family who were in town for my cousin's baseball tournament. We enjoyed pizza and AMAZING weather. It's always nice spending time with that portion of the ol' family. Saturday, the hubs, the boys and I headed for another trip to the lake. I love it there. I really just felt calm and happy all weekend, especially on our Saturday night boat ride where we saw pretty much the most gorgeous rainbow I have ever seen in my life. Actually, it was just a little tidbit of a rainbow, hanging out in a big thunderhead, but you could see each of it's colors I'm talking ALL of Roy G. Biv {remember that from elementary science?}!!! Seriously, best rainbow nugget I have ever seen and that makes five rainbows I have seen in the past month, five, compared to the maybe ONE I have seen over the past 5 years! I only wish I had had my camera, although, it probably would have ended up in the lake.

All ma' boys fishin'. I would like to point out that I was the only one who actually caught a fish {illegally}. haha.
And finally, I finished number 3 of 12 {that's 1/4 of the way through!!} of the Abraxane/ Herceptin leg of my treatment cycle. I have, thankfully, been feeling pretty good and trying to carry on with life as usual. The nurses seem somewhat shocked that I am still running and such, which is weird to me since they TOLD me to exercise, but oh well, I'm going to keep it up while I can, that's for sure! My white counts did drop again {boo}, which freaks me out because I feel fine. I guess I thought I would know if they were dropping. So, again, if you want to know where you can direct thoughts prayers this week, here is your charge:
  1. That the cancer is being eradicated from my body and is NEVER going to return {of course}.
  2. That my white counts stay within the normal range so that I can continue with treatment as planned.
  3. That I remember my new mantra and GET BUSY LIVING!!!!

Thanks in advance for all of your prayers/ thoughts/ energy.

Now, go out there, enjoy your holiday {tomorrow} and GET BUSY LIVING!!!

7 comments:

  1. next time you're googling, how about picking out a fun 5k for us to do? also, if you're up for it, i'm up for just about any of the disney runs. (i've already signed up for a couple of them!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would like to do the one where I get to dress like a princess. :)

      Delete
    2. funny you should mention that. i just signed up for the "princess half marathon" in disney world in february. hopefully, i can get a spot for the "tinkerbell half marathon" in january, too, so i can get the pink "coast to coast" medal they'll be offering for the first time. registration for the latter race opens next week, giving me six months to chase down some wings.

      anywhoo, here's the link if you want to check out princess:

      http://www.rundisney.com/princess-half-marathon/

      Delete
    3. let me know if you're interested, and i'll sign you up and cover the entry fee and souvenir necklace for you, as a "congrats on kicking cancer's ass" present. :~)

      Delete
  2. I love the pink wig. . .you look so cute!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You know, through that painful process you ecperienced, you came out a winner. Studies show attitude is a huge part of healing. Proud of your kick ass attitude! You are inspiring!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Heather, It's Matt's Mom. Have you checked into the Look Good, Feel Better classes? Is a great pick-you-up when dealing work hair loss. Plus, you get all sorts of free cosmetics and a mini-makeover.

    ReplyDelete