It's been almost a year since I
began this blog and just over a year from when I heard "the words". I still think about cancer every single day, but I no longer wake up
every morning in a panic feeling like I am going to throw up. I still worry
about having the pleasure of seeing my boys grow up and about growing old with my husband, but now I try to remember that NO
ONE knows what their future holds, it's just most people my age haven't
yet had to look something so scary right in the face. A lot of life has happened in the past year. Many things have changed. I see WAAAAAAY more doctors and have WAAAAAAY more appointments than I ever have before {This is the FIRST time I have gone 3 weeks without seeing a doctor in over a year!!!}, I now have a self proclaimed PhD in breast cancer research and treatment {I mean, I've always been into science, but this it just nuts!}, I have acquired a whole separate friend group full of other young ladies who have heard "the words", and I am ENORMOUSLY and acutely aware of the fragility of life which has led to some interesting positive changes {such making most Fridays "family moving night", trying to take more little trips, starting Courage Kits of Kansas City and apparently trying to start my own homestead by raising chickens and joining a farm share!!} but even more things seem to have stayed blissfully the same. I still have the most supporting and loving family, I still have the best friends in pretty much the entire world, I still enjoy running and playing and hiking and getting dirty and being outside, I still go barefoot almost all the time {and according to my husband I have "hobo feet" ~ which reminds me, I need a pedicure}, I still get annoyed with my the love of my life when he doesn't remember something I have told him {more than once!!} and exasperated with my sweet boys when they REFUSE to use the potty and continuously talk about "poop" at the dinner table, I still HATE putting the laundry away {in fact, I have several baskets full of clean laundry around the house right now!} and I still love cooking for my family and eating outside on our deck, I'm still me. I was afraid after I heard "the words" that some of what makes me ME would go away, but I am ever thankful that it hasn't. I'm still here, just maybe a little less happily ignorant than I was before.
Since I wrote last, I have had one more 3-month follow up with Dr. K. We spent the majority of the appointment laughing at a video from
Late Night Staring Jimmy Fallon {waiting for it to load really} and a few minutes talking about the side effects of ovarian suppression and tamoxifen {hot flashes, joint pain, feeling like I am 100 when I wake up!}, scheduling my LAST herceptin infusion {Yay! but also, SCARY!}, discussing any new symptoms or complaints, of which I am grateful there are currently none, and of course, giving my boobies a good once over. My hope is that I stay an intensely boring patient for Dr. K. That we can always spend our appointments chit chatting about late night TV and the fact that we appear to be wearing very similar shirts and that there is no reason to discuss anything more serious, ever. So, if you want to join me, that's my prayer, staying boring to Dr. K ~ so boring that he yawns when he sees me. :~)
Also since we last "talked"
Courage Kits of Kansas City has really taken off! We had a bag stuffing party and are making our first grand delivery to the KU Cancer Center tomorrow morning {after I get herceptin}. This is super exciting and not only because it means we will get our basement back {it's currently FILLED with bags!} but because I KNOW first hand the difference these kits are going to make to so many women. I have been told that there are 7 or 8 new breast cancer patients A WEEK at the cancer center, which is just staggering. So, friends, THANK YOU for supporting Courage Kits, it really fills me up. I'm going to leave you today with photos from our bag stuffing party and I will post again soon after they are delivered tomorrow. Again, thank you for you love and support over the past year! XO
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| I'm sorry the lighting is AWFUL!! |
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