It's Not You, It's Me...Oh Wait, No, It's Definitely YOU!

Dear Tissue Expanders,

We have been together a while now, since November 15, 2013 to be exact, but our time together is coming to an end. On Thursday, we are splitting up, hopefully for good. I could take it easy on you and say "it's not you...it's me", but I fear that just isn't true and by lying to you I would be doing you a disservice. On the surface, to the unknowing observer, I'm sure things always seemed okay, good even. I can admit that you have given me shape and helped me to keep up appearances. I can even concede that you have done a good job of preparing me for the future and the better things to come, but appearances aren't always what they seem. I have gotten to know you pretty well in the past nine months and let's face it, although I am generally an easy going girl you've been down right inflexible, some might even say rigid and a tad bit bossy! I mean, who doesn't ALLOW someone to lay on their stomach for crying out loud?! And don't even get me STARTED on the fact that my boys no longer have a soft place to lay on my chest or that I could pretty much knock someone flat with a simple hug! You've hurt me at times, you've made me feel as though I am wearing some sort of medieval "iron bra" torture device, you've made it difficult for me to sleep comfortably and an accidental brush of my hand is a constant reminder of your "hard" attitude, so I just think it's really time for us to part ways. Even with all of the inflexibility, the bossiness and the hurt...it's still difficult to say goodbye...change is hard, and you are what I know, you have become my "normal" and lets' be honest, the process of getting rid of you is no walk in the park. Still, it's time to move on, to find a better fit for me, to find someone more flexible who will allow me to feel a bit more like myself. I do thank you for what you have done to prepare me and for helping me to at least LOOK "normal", but looks aren't everything and I am moving on.

Sincerely,

Longing for Squishies

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Just in case anyone is wondering, my oncology appointments have been deliciously BORING {let's pray that they stay that way!!}. I finished Herceptin a couple of weeks ago and I am continuing with Zoladex and Tamoxifen.

For those of you who want to know where to direct prayers/ energy/ chants/ whatever, here you go! THANKS FRIENDS!

1. That the exchange to implants {read about the process here} goes as smoothly as possible, that everything looks healthy and that there are NO SURPRISES! 
   
2.  That Dr. B and her staff are well rested, well fed and have steady hands and minds.
3. That going under anesthesia and coming out of anesthesia goes smoothly.
4. That my radiated skin and tissue has held up well so that proper healing can take place after the exchange.
5. That Matt, my boys, my parents, Matt's parents and the rest of my family can have calm hearts and minds during this surgery.
6. That I can remain Dr. K's most boring and completely uninteresting {at least medically!} patient.