All You Need is Love....and Self Tanner

Since that little jack ass of an invader was found in my breast, the immense amounts of love showered on my family have been down right UNBELIEVABLE!! I knew we had awesome friends and family, but I guess I just didn't quite know HOW awesome they all are, seriously, it's amazing.

Within days of finding out that "TFBBc" was even a possibility {I will tell you the last "Bc" is breast cancer, you can make a guess at the remainder of little acronym!} I received "the blanket". The blanket that is given out by a close group of girlfriends brought together by another medical asshole, pPPROM and the subsequent premature birth of our children, some of whom are thriving beautiful examples of medical miracles that happen every day and some of whom are watching over their families from Heaven and were gone too soon. Most of us have never met, but many of us have received "the blanket" during times of need. Honestly, I hoped never to have a reason to get one, however beautiful it may be, or I hoped that someday someone would say, hey, you know what, let's just make sure everyone has one, regardless of circumstance. Alas, that was not my story, and this situation is SUPER shitty, but that blanket has made me feel wrapped in love and loyalty. It's more than just a symbol of our friendship, I can literally feel these ladies beside me when I am wrapped in the blanket. It has magical powers, healing powers. I know it does.

The blanket was just the first of an avalanche of cards, flowers, Cancer fighting CDs, symbolic starfish earrings {which I lost one almost immediately, then had a dream husband found it and then he DID find it!!!}, candy, sweets, offers to help with our children and to feed us, and offers just to be there and listen. So great. Honestly, again, I wish that nobody ever had to offer these things for this reason, but we are so blessed to have these people in our lives. Thanks friends.

One friend in particular {St. Louis} made me laugh one day, when she sent me a super awesome "F&ck Cancer!" bag to carry with me to my treatments. I carried it proudly my first day of treatment, stuffed with snacks, books and electronics, but when I came home from that first treatment my same sweet friend brought me to sobbing tears of gratitude. She sent me a care package filled with every.single.thing. I had seen mentioned as "helpful" on cancer forums and blogs. To know my friend, who I have only ever met TWICE, was searching the internet the same way I was in an attempt to make things less sucky grew my heart SO SO much. Seriously, she included SELF TANNING LOTION when just that day I had asked my new friend, the girl who has just been through it, if I would get really pale. I like my skin color, I don't want to be really pale and seeing that tanning lotion and some bronzer just made me know that St. Louis GETS IT, she gets it. I know that the vanity stuff isn't the most important and that getting better IS, but I still think about it and that's okay.

Look at this. I just can't believe we are so lucky to have such amazing people in our lives. I know I keep saying it, but it's true and it needs to be said. Husband asks me why I cry whenever someone does something nice for us and my answer is this, "I HATE that people have to be nice to me for this reason, I know it is genuine and true and lovely, but I absolutely hate that "TFBBc" is even around to elicit this kind of response." Does that make sense or does that make me sound crazy on top of everything else?  haha.

We have the best friends. Thank you ALL so much for your generosity and support.